I've felt this way for a while, that the give/take in my relationships is imbalanced, and that I'm not receiving what I need.
But then I tried to imagine receiving what I thought I wanted, and whether it would truly make me happy. The answer is almost always no.
The few times the answer was yes, I traced down why within myself, and found that, honestly, I just wanted people to care about me.
Then I realized that they have already shown ways that they care about me, just not the ways I was wanting or expecting, or found as meaningful.
Or I realized that I was not believing that they cared about me, and that it was merely a performance, but that I had no good reason for doubting it, and was just being overly demanding of a sign. (Not always, though. With some people, there were clear signs they were faking it.)
Or I realized that there was no context in which those things could come up, so the genuine love from the other person might actually be present, it's just that there's no opportunity for them to express it, until a scenario is created where it makes sense for them to do so in some way.
And other similar thought experiments within myself. This has led to me (a) realizing that a good number of people do actually care about me to a significant and meaningful degree, and (b) I need to take the initiative more often to create situations where they can express it, even if it's something as simple as asking them to have coffee with me.
But then I tried to imagine receiving what I thought I wanted, and whether it would truly make me happy. The answer is almost always no.
The few times the answer was yes, I traced down why within myself, and found that, honestly, I just wanted people to care about me.
Then I realized that they have already shown ways that they care about me, just not the ways I was wanting or expecting, or found as meaningful.
Or I realized that I was not believing that they cared about me, and that it was merely a performance, but that I had no good reason for doubting it, and was just being overly demanding of a sign. (Not always, though. With some people, there were clear signs they were faking it.)
Or I realized that there was no context in which those things could come up, so the genuine love from the other person might actually be present, it's just that there's no opportunity for them to express it, until a scenario is created where it makes sense for them to do so in some way.
And other similar thought experiments within myself. This has led to me (a) realizing that a good number of people do actually care about me to a significant and meaningful degree, and (b) I need to take the initiative more often to create situations where they can express it, even if it's something as simple as asking them to have coffee with me.