It seems like a lot of people get married and have kids just because it's the thing people do. Which I guess you can't really fault them for, but it is the root of a lot of society's problems as you say. I think it's great that my generation is seeing lower marriage rates and people waiting until later, I optimistically interpret that as a sign that people are starting to bring more intention into those decisions.
Here's a hot take: In a generation or two, once the technology matures, we'll start seeing a lot of people opting (themselves or their children) into reversible sterilization, and it will soon become the norm.
> It seems like a lot of people get married and have kids just because it's the thing people do. Which I guess you can't really fault them for, but it is the root of a lot of society's problems as you say.
My case would support your supposition because I was distressingly incompetent in my early 20s. I wasn't a prize at 28 (my first born) either but at least I was at a point where I could form better expectations for myself.
Past that, I find most young people today to be measurably more balanced & competent human beings than my generation was. I have strong confidence in their abilities to guide little people.
To be clear tho, even in my generation I was a terrible outlier.
On the former: I’ve seen a lot of my peers pursuing a “checkbox” approach to happiness. They try to check all the boxes and expect fulfillment at the end. It hasn’t been working out for them. Some people like and want kids, and that’s great. But having kids because it’s the “next step” is a horrible plan.
Second: we already have that. It’s called the pill.
Yeah that's interesting, I called it a hot take because a lot of people get up in arms when you talk about sterilization, yet the pill does has widespread acceptance, though of course it is somewhat different and has a number of drawbacks, notably that it has significant side-effects and has to be taken continually.
I'm thinking more along the lines of something like Vasalgel/RISUG, basically a shot you get once or very infrequently, that could become a sort of automatic or default health procedure like vaccines.
We have that too! Think IUDs or implants, which last for years. Some are even hormone free! They last about 3-10 years, depending on which specific device we’re talking about.
What’s fascinating is that these are for men, and the reactions around that specific detail reveals a lot about us as a society.
I think it's two sides of the same coin - what was the cause of the breakdown?
Either way, we're at a point where a lot of people are having kinds that they hadn't really planned for, or might not have wanted, or can't afford, or otherwise aren't able to give proper care to.
Arguably the latter is happening at the lowest rate in history, and for the first time we’re seeing the opposite.
The average number of children that a woman wants in the western world is now about 1-1.5 higher than she will have on average, which means that women want more kids and choose not to for other reasons.
I do agree that things are getting better, but still:
- In 2011, 45% of pregnancies in the US were unintended (as you note this is down from 54% in 2008, though it generally hovers around 50%) [1]
- About half of the unintended pregnancies come from women that were attempting to use contraception. [2]
- In 2001, 44% of US unintended pregnancies resulted in births.
- It is estimated that more than half of US women have had an unintended pregnancy by age 45
This still seems like a huge drain on society. And, of course, this doesn't even begin to consider the eastern and developing worlds that are much farther behind.
Also, this is not to argue that every unplanned pregnancy becomes an unmitigated disaster, I know there are many wonderful people that came from accidents. But I still think it would be a great milestone for humanity to reach a point where by default these things generally didn't happen.
Proper care does not -only- mean adequate food. Indeed more children are properly fed than ever. There are various other aspects though. Your parents feeling you should be eternally enslaved to their desires for your whole life just because they made you, for example, is the norm, and as stated above, is an abomination. It creates enormous psychological stress and leads to - surprise! - broken families. Becoming materially independent from your parents is inevitable - and that's when what bonds really formed shows.
Here's a hot take: In a generation or two, once the technology matures, we'll start seeing a lot of people opting (themselves or their children) into reversible sterilization, and it will soon become the norm.